My Secret

First off, a few facts that are not my secret, and are fairly public knowledge about me.

• I still live with my parents.
• In December of 2010, we moved to a new house that is much nicer than any we have ever lived in before.
• My Dad is very proud of this house, but he is also the type of person who is very serious about keeping nice things nice, and wouldn't take well to, say, a sizable hole in the wall of his nice new house (purely hypothetically speaking, of course.)

And now, here is the secret:

That is the wall below my desk in my bedroom. A while back I accidentally made that hole in the wall. Now, I don't know the first thing about how to fix things like this, so I have to tell my dad eventually, or it will never be fixed. However, he's not going to be very happy about it, and I'm not in a big hurry to have to deal with it, so I've chosen the latter or those two options. Now it's been a fairly long time, and that hole is still there. I haven't even told a single person (outside of this blog entry and the forthcoming class discussion) about it yet. I've covered it with some cardboard, and I barely even remember it. I know that eventually I'll have to deal with it, but for now I'm making the real mature move of just ignoring it.

Fear Assignment

Part 1

Step 1: Examine

As I thought about fear and what it meant to me, I couldn't really identify any specific fears of mine. This is not to say that I don't have any fear, though, as this is far from the case. It's just that I don't think I have many specific fears (like spiders, or heights, or anything like that), at least that I could identify. What I realized, however, was that I felt fear most when I was worried about things that were highly unlikely. For example, right about the time of this assignment, I had a somewhat large situation come up with another class. I knew rationally that this situation would almost certainly resolve itself just fine, but I was really concerned about it. That feeling of fear at that time really let me observe my own fear, and identify that it mostly seems to happen even when I know nothing will likely happen.

Step 2: Experiment

For my experiment, I chose to show a video that I had seen a long time ago. The video attempts to startle the viewers, and I thought this was a good metaphor for what I think of fear. The video tries to instill a very brief moment of fear, even though the viewers never rationally think that anything is going to happen. Furthermore, many of the "subjects" in my experiment were likely expecting the startling moment, thus making it lose its effectiveness. However, I expected that several of them would still be startled. This added another metaphorical layer, as it again showed fear happening when there was no rational concern.

Step 3: Hypothesis

As I discussed in my previous entry, I suspected that some of the subjects would be startled, and others would completely see it coming and not be affected at all.

Steps 4-6: Experiment/Reaction/Analysis

I conducted this experiment in class. One of my expected outcomes definitely happened, as at least one person had already seen the video and knew exactly what to expect. With the lights out, I couldn't tell for sure if anyone was legitimately startled, so unfortunately I don't really know how that half of the hypothesis worked out. I expected a little more noticeable reaction, and I failed to account for my inability to judge people's reactions with the lights out. Still, I am largely content with the results, as I think the experiment was fairly successful in its metaphorical goals.

Step 7: Proposed Changes

If I could change any variables in the experiment I would primarily make sure I could observe the reactions better. Perhaps I could record them. I also would perform the experiment in an environment where less people would expect it (as opposed to a room full of people specifically discussing fear). This way some people would likely see it coming, but a greater percentage might not.

Part 2


There were two presentations that most connected with me. The first was the person (I can't remember his name) who talked about asking "What's the worst that can happen?" This connected with me because of its inherent similarities to the conclusions I had drawn, specifically about fear being in a situation where there is little to no rational reason for concern. This affected my project by forcing me to think about the contrasts between his ideas and my own. He spoke of the idea as a way of sort of overcoming fear, and it made me see more strongly the disconnect in my project between rational thought and the existence of fear.

The other project that connect with me was Daniel MacLean's. It showed something so different from mine in that it showed a very specific fear, where I couldn't really come up with any. However, it largely dealt with the same idea as mine, the idea of fear without rational concern. Also, Daniel briefly discussed some of the  religious/spiritual aspects of his fear, which also resonated with me. Like Daniel, I would call myself a Christian, and the in-class discussion about the relationship between his faith and fear made me think about any possible connections between my own fears and my personal religious beliefs. I am still thinking about this, and although I haven't reached any solid conclusions, it definitely seems like a very worthwhile idea to think about.

What Has Stuck Sideways

There are a lot of things I remember about the class so far, but here are three that jump out to me off the top of my head:

Discussing daydreaming. I daydream all the time, but I think this is the first time that I've been forced to really think critically about it, or had it addressed in a serious way. It was really interesting.

Getting something new out of a music theory class I took more than two years ago. As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry, the discussion of the definition of music and John Cage was almost identical to one from my Music Theory I class I took at the beginning of my sophomore year. However, having this same conversation in the context of how it relates to all of creativity instead of just music was very significant, as it made me look at those things I already thought (about music and such) from a different perspective.

Being told to relax. I know, on a purely objective level, that I should not overwork myself, and that I should take breaks and do things that I like once in a while. However, this has always been hard for me. I have a tendency to be quick enough to "waste time" when I feel like I have plenty of time, but as soon as there's any kind of deadline or need on me, I can't make myself do or even think about much of anything else. I'm in my eighth and final semester of college right now, and I think every semester so far has ended with me overstressing and overworking to the point where I have gotten sick (and I rarely get sick at all). And I know that I could and should take a little time to relax at some point during times like that, but I rarely do. Being told that in class really stood out to me, even though it only reinforced something I already knew.


This class has been VERY different from any other class I've taken. Perhaps the biggest difference has been the assignments. I can't think of any other class where the assignments basically boil down to "do something."


I hope that this class can continue to have more significant moments for me like the ones I've mentioned above. These are where it really seems like the class is having an impact that will actually stick with me, and I want more of that.

Fear Hypothesis

(If by chance you read this before and are now seeing that it says something different, it is because I tweaked my hypothesis and experiment and wanted this post to reflect that.)

I hypothesize that my experiment will have mixed reactions. For some participants, it will be startling and cause them to jump. For others, it will have little effect. Either or both of these outcomes are part of the intended results of the experiment, and hopefully both will occur.

Unexpected Improv

For this assignment, I wanted to do something that sort of expressed or was related to the meaning and purpose of my totem, but obviously wasn't using it for it's intended purpose. Since my totem was a guitar pick, I obviously couldn't play a guitar or anything similar with it for this assignment. But when I thought about what a guitar pick actually is and what it does, I decided that I wanted to use it to play some sort of music. After some experimentation, I landed on playing a glockenspiel (a percussion instrument usually played with mallets, similar to a xylophone) with the pick. I "plucked" the bars on the glockenspiel that would normally be struck, and the result was a slightly different tone to the instrument.

Here is a video of me playing it:

Class Reflection 2/27/11

The thing that jumped out to me most about today's class wasn't necessarily something about the class itself. I found the discussion about the definition of music very interesting, and since I am a musician, that should come as no surprise. However, what was most interesting to me was that I found it just as interesting when we had almost the same conversation (right down to the use of, and debate about the value of, John Cage's ""4'33") in Music Theory I, which I took my freshman year. This is not a bad thing, though. I found that conversation interesting then, and I gained plenty of insight from it, but because of the context in which it was being presented I was only looking at it in terms of music. Now, having the same conversation in a totally different class, I can look at it as it relates to a much broader field of topics.

Also, today's class reminded me of a quote from one of my favorite musicians, Tom Waits. He does a lot of the sort of found sounds and unorthodox uses of things in his music. He said,

"Everything is a potential instrument, it depends on how you use it. I remember I was doing Swordfishtrombones and somebody took a stool -- a metal stool -- and started dragging it across the studio floor to move it out of the way. And I said, "That's really thrilling. Do that again and abundantly and carefully and repeatedly, please." It sounded like bus brakes on a big city bus. So I like things that fall outside of the spectrum of what we consider traditional instruments and acceptable sound. I love all that." (source)

Tigers

First off, here are my "What if..." questions. For these, I tried to more or less completely turn off my mind's filter, and just write the first thing that came into my mind. As a result, some of these are better or more unique than others.

1. What if tigers could fly?
2. What if tigers were really good at chess?
3. What if tigers were great musicians?
4. What if tigers were sentient?
5. What if tigers had their own society?
6. What if humans evolved from tigers?
7. What if tigers evolved from humans?
8. What if tigers are actually aliens?
9. What if there are no such thing as tigers, and they’re just a mass hallucination?
10. What if some people were tigers in disguise?
11. What if some tigers were people in disguise?
12. What some people were tigers in disguise, who were in turn people in disguise?
13. What if tigers made great pets?
14. What if tiger sharks were actual tiger-shark hybrids?
15. What if tiger the tiger society (from no. 5) had a civil war?
16. What if in this tiger civil war, there was a tiger Abraham Lincoln?
17. What if tigers were robots?
18. What if tigers kept other animals in their own zoos?
19. What if dead tigers came back as zombies?
20. What if tigers teamed up with apes to cause the apocalypse?
21. What if tigers made their own TV shows?
22. What if tigers could use computers?
23. What if tigers were super intelligent, but incapable of understanding art?
24. What if people ate tigers like they do other animals?
25. What if tigers were common as pets?
26. What if tigers had their own pets?
27. What if all fake tigers (toys, pictures, etc.) were actually alive and real tigers?
28. What if there was a super hero tiger?
29. What if every family had one member who was a tiger?
30. What if a tiger was elected President?
31. What it tigers had awesome beards?
32. What if tigers built the pyramids?
33. What if every tiger alive is actually one tiger who can make duplicates of him/herself?
34. What if tigers could play awesome guitar solos, but were otherwise no different than usual.
35. What if the earth was made of tigers?
36. What if tigers were behind every conspiracy theory ever?
37. What if every sports team named for tigers was made up of actual tigers?
38. What if Mac OS X Tiger was an actual tiger?
39. What if a tiger sued Apple over the use of its likeness in Apple’s OS.
40. What if tigers could only be found in Ohio?
41. What if a tiger got a job as a banker?
42. What if the band Tigers on Trains was made up of actual tigers?
43. What if Hollywood remade all Nicholas Cage movies, replacing Cage with a tiger?
44. What if the president had to fight a tiger to be inaugurated?
45. What if a tiger was named king of Pennsylvania?
46. What if tigers could transform into cars?
47. What if tigers could regrow their limbs like lizards?
48. What if a tiger endorsed a political candidate?
49. What if tigers could do someone’s homework for them for a fee?
50. What if tigers were functional alcoholics?

Secondly, here is what I made based around the idea of a tiger. Since this assignment it is due on Presidents' Day, and it's related to one of my questions, I figured the only reasonable thing I could do was create an image of some presidents fighting a tiger.

This image was created by compositing parts of several images I found online. The sources are as follows:

Presidents: http://what-do-you-do.net/forums/index.php?topic=5404.0
Tiger: http://hairhelmet12.deviantart.com/art/Tiger-Attack-200041474
Setting: http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-photo/hithere52/2/1235677440/the-gladiator-arena.jpg/tpod.html

Class Reflection - 2/13/12

The biggest thing that stood out to me from today's class was the discussion of priorities. This is always a big issue for me, because it seems to me that others try to dictate what your priorities should be. Some individual classes and part-time jobs I've had have seemed to have the idea that they are the single most important thing in their students'/employees' lives. I've even done volunteer work for groups that then later look down on you if you give higher priority to something else, such as school or a job that's actually paying you the money you need to survive.) If everyone and everything in my life that wanted to be my top priority got their way, I would need to split into dozens of copies of myself just to fill those roles.

Book v2.0

In thinking about this assignment, I considered what I think makes a book a book. I like e-books, but when I think of a book that's not what I think of. I like paper and ink and binding, in a physical object that takes up space on my shelf. There's something about a book that is special, something to reading a book that is different than reading the exact same content on an iPad or a Kindle. It's more than the difference between listening to music on mp3s vs. vinyl (which I also do quite a bit). Reading a physical book engages the senses more, and the tiny, subtle details really define the experience.

That being said, I really like the interactiveness of e-books. The ability to embed hyperlinks into a novel, or copy and paste text at will, is perhaps the most interesting thing to have happened to literature in decades. Therefore, I figured that I would make a mock book that combines the two - a physical book with some of the augmented features of an e-book.

(Note: Please ignore and/or forgive my somewhat poor Photoshop skills. I'm an audio/video producer, and not very good with Photoshop, but this was the best way I could get my idea across.)

 As you can see, this a real book, with ink and pages and other such wonderful high-tech features.

However, you can use it like an e-book. Certain things would contain hyperlinks. For instance, selecting the "soon to be a major motion picture" icon would bring up the film's trailer, right on the cover of the book.

Also, text could be selectable. This would make for easy quotations and such.

 These are just a couple of things that would be possible with this interactive physical book. Is it possible? I don't know. But would I buy it if it existed? Absolutely.

How to "Read" a Book

Note: I am using my own personal book collection for this assignment.

When I look at my book collection, my eye is first drawn to George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series. This is likely because I have been recently reading this series, so I am used to seeing these books a lot lately.

My finger landed on a section discussing the shockingly-frightening aspects of the botfly. In the specific paragraph my finger landed on, the letter "p" appears 4 times (it's a fairly short paragraph.) I guess I can imagine the white space as a sea and the other parts as islands, though not particularly vividly. It's hard to look at the page and not see words.

The paper is slightly rough, but evenly so. There is little wear on the page. I cannot feel the ink. The cover is very smooth and glossy, and I can't feel any difference in the colors. On the edges of the cover, I can feel a little wear.

The book is a paperback book, that is made entirely of paper. It seems to be glued, and there do not seem to be any signatures. The glue seems to be flat against each end of the spine.

There is no other writing in the book. However, I don't really think I am possibly the first person to think about it, so I honestly don't really think it makes me feel any particular way.

There are no stains on the book. There are some faint fingerprints on the glossy cover, though they are mostly faded. This is likely from being handled.

The pages are a slightly brownish-yellow color, slightly warm and very dull. The insides of the cover are whiter. All the printing is in black or shades of grey.

I don't see any evidence that anyone else handled the book. The edges of the pages are smooth. I imagine anyone else who has read this book (another copy obviously, as I bought this one new) would find it funny and informative, as that is the goal of the book. I doubt that anyone else has used this book this way before.

The sound of the pages flipping is a faint, short sound, rather dull and heavier in lower frequencies with a subtler higher-end element. I can faintly feel the wind from the book, but I can't move anything (even other paper) with it, so I doubt I could win any game with it.

I can't feel anything from dropping the book on the floor (it is a fairly light book). Taking my shoes off doesn't change anything.

The book is lukewarm at first. After holding it, I can sense a very slight difference in temperature where I was holding it. I suspect I never noticed this before because it is so slight that I would have to look for it to notice.

The book smells like a book. I know that sounds obvious, but I've spent more than enough time in my life in bookstores and libraries to know the smell of books. It does smell like a relatively fresh book, though, with not much other sent from being handled by too many people.

The book is called You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News. It is a book published by Cracked.com, with informative articles presented in a humorous way. Page 1 starts the article I was on earlier, entitled "The Five Most Horrifying Bugs in the World." If I didn't know why the book was titled as it was, I would still probably correctly surmise that it is titled as such because it presents such weird, disturbing facts in an upbeat, joking manner.

I honestly don't think that my experience with the book has changed much by doing this. That's not a dig at the assignment in any way, I just don't know that I'll view this particular book or books in general vastly differently. I might notice the temperature thing again though. I never found books boring. I've been an avid reader since I was a child, which is why I was able to use my own book collection for this assignment. Again, I don't really think my opinion of books has changed much.

This assignment seemed to be very "fishbowled." It required me to select a red book, specifically, and then it went through a series of mostly very specific steps of what to do with it. I think that the point of this exercise was to experience a common object from a totally different perspective. This could lead to me thinking more outside the box with things in future projects, specifically in that I might be able to look at physical objects differently from their intended purpose.

What Enslaves Me

One of the biggest projects I've ever embarked on is one that is still going on at the time of this writing. I play in a two-person band, and we decided in spring of last year to record our debut album. However, we didn't want to hire any producers or pay for studio time, or anything like that. We have all the equipment and most of the know-how between us to do it ourselves, so we decided to do that. We wrote a whole new batch of songs, rehearsed them, and recorded them in the summer. I primarily played drums and bass, as well as doing some vocals, and I also handled most of the production duties. Now I am in the process of post-production.

The album definitely has not gone quite as I planned, however. For one thing, post production is taking much longer than we thought it would. We also ended up re-recording a lot of parts, and that has added time as well. The album will probably sound, when completed, more or less like I imagined, but it's taking much longer to get done.

The biggest limitations within this project have been lack of resources and know-how. We had all the equipment we strictly-speaking needed, but not everything that we could have used. There are many things we could have had that we didn't, and we suffered a bit for it. We also found that a lack of know-how hindered us, as when unforeseen challenges arose we had to learn how to deal with them. A lack of experience also played a large part in it, as we didn't know really what to expect.

With the bead, the biggest limitation I experienced came from procrastination, mixed with the excessive freedom of the assignment. When it was first assigned, I started trying to think of what to do, and didn't immediately think of anything. However, I decided that it could wait. After all, it wasn't due for two weeks, and pretty much anything would be acceptable. Surely I could figure something out eventually. Well, the day before it was due, I still hadn't done anything. This led to me going to the well I usually go to when I need creative ideas: music. I think this was actually somewhat of a good thing, in that it focused me and made me come up with and idea and get it done. However, it definitely was a limitation as well.

The limitation I chose to express was this type of procrastination. This bead assignment was by no means the first time I've procrastinated an assignment. In fact, I've probably procrastinated most of my assignments since I started college, and even before in high school. I know how it feels, but I wasn't really sure how to express it. So I went back to the same well I usually go to: music. This expression of it is a bit conceptual, and likely wouldn't make sense without explanation. However, it makes sense to me. The explanation is listed below the song.



The song starts out very soft, soothing, and mild. This represents the part of time where I feel like I have so much time, so I just don't do much of anything. This goes on for a while, but another element starts building, some held out droning notes. This represents the building sense of anticipation I have as I know that I have to do something about the project, but I still don't start. Finally, as the droning reaches its peak, the lead guitar starts. However, it is hesitant, experimental, unsure. This stands for how I reach the moment where I must start working on a project, and I rack my brain for any ideas. Finally, the lead guitar coalesces into something that makes sense and is confident, while all the while the other elements, including the drone notes, keep playing. This represents the final product. All of the elements, the stress, the ideas, the waiting, all form the final product.

Another element of the song happened by accident, but I thought it made another good statement about procrastinating and then doing a project, as I do it. At the end of the lead guitar line, I messed up slightly. I left it in rather than redoing it, however. This is because it stands for how, in a large project, what I turn in is never perfect. There are always things I'm not happy with, but I turn it in anyway.

Class Reflection/Group Role - Week 2

One thing that really stood out to me in this week's class was one of the things listed during the discussion of limitations and things that can be a "fishbowl." Someone mentioned procrastination as one of these things, and that kind of resonated with me. I know that I procrastinate almost everything, and seeing it mentioned in this context made me really think about it. I think that my own tendency for procrastination can definitely be a hindrance, but in a way it can focus me. When I know I only have a relatively small amount of time to get something done, I can really focus to get it done in that time. It's definitely something to think about, and I'm sure I'll continue to ponder it. Later, though. It can wait. Maybe tomorrow...

Also, in this week's class, I was in group 1. We told group 2 to write down their favorite movie quotes and make a script out of them. Of course, we ended up having to participate too due to group 2.

"The Bead"

For the assignment "Do something with this bead," I composed a short instrumental song entitled "The Bead." I put a toothpick through the bead to be able to hold it better, and played each instrument using the bead. Of course, since it is a song about/using a bead, the song is in the key of B.

Class Reflection - Week 1

This was definitely an interesting class. It was one of the more unusual ones of my almost-complete time in college, although I suspect it may be the most normal meeting of the whole class. One of the biggest things I was hoping for out of it was to get a sense of what the class was and what to expect, and I think this week's class largely fulfilled that, at least to a certain extent. Coming into this class I had heard a lot of good things, but I didn't really have any idea what the class was going to be like. The only expectation I had was that, based on what I had heard, I somewhat expected the class to be relatively easy. Now I know that I was sort of half-right in that. I think this class will be less demanding in terms of time and such resources than others. This wont be a class where I spend 12+ hours in one week slaving over a computer doing tedious work to get one project done. However, I don't think it will necessarily be easy, it will just be challenging in a very different way. And that's really what I took away most from the class. It won't be like any other class I've had. Although I now know more than I did about what the class will entail, I still don't feel like I have much idea what to expect, and I think that's a lot of the point. I'm actually really excited about this class. A little nervous, but really excited.